Everyone should read Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E.

CJ564 · Post by **CJ564** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:39 pm

No seriously. Go buy it. It's awesome. It's like a Comedy/Action film on paper, except it doesn't suck so much.

rebelbuttkicker · Post by **rebelbuttkicker** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:12 pm

What on Coruscant is it?

CJ564 · Post by **CJ564** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:25 am

It's a snowcone smashed into your head with a sledge hammer!

It's a breath of fresh air crammed directly up your nose with a knitting needle!

It's a mountain lion with indigestion coming right at you!

.....

It's a comic.

------------------

From Wikipedia:

The Nextwave series features a collection of minor Marvel superheroes, including Monica Rambeau, the former Captain Marvel; Tabitha Smith, formerly of X-Force; Aaron Stack, the Machine Man; monster hunter Elsa Bloodstone; and new character The Captain, previously called Captain ☠☠☠☠ (The obscured words being so horrible that Captain America allegedly "beat four shades of it out of [him]" and left him in a dumpster with a bar of soap in his mouth.). These individuals are assembled by H.A.T.E., the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort, to fight Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction (U.W.M.D.s). The Nextwave team learns that H.A.T.E. is funded by the Beyond Corporation©, an organization run by H.A.T.E.'s terrorist enemy S.I.L.E.N.T.; as a result, the heroes leave H.A.T.E., stealing a vehicle called the Shockwave Rider. They destroy the U.W.M.D.s that the Beyond Corporation and H.A.T.E. have hidden around the United States, while pursued by H.A.T.E. Director Dirk Anger, a parody of Nick Fury.

But let's let it describe itself, shall we? ((Oh and before you ask, those asterisks are totally in the original song and not me censoring words))

It's like Shakespeare
But with lots more punching.
It's like Goethe,
But with lots more crunching.
Like Titanic,
But the boat's still floating.
No it's not
The ******** boat is exploding!

NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE

Dirk Anger,
Is one crazy mamajama.
He leads H.A.T.E.,
sitting around in his pretty pink pajamas.
H.A.T.E. was formed,
by the Beyond Corporation,
Purposely to bring about catastrophic devastation!

NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE

Do you need a haircut?
The Beyond Corporation is going to help you out!
Do you need a toothbrush?
The Beyond Corporation has an extra one!
Do you have a stepson?
The Beyond Corporation is gonna run him off!
Do you see monsters? Or a pirate? Electric Emu?
A giant sky rat? A midgit Hitler? Or Pontius Pilate?
That is why Beyohd Corp. was started.

NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE

Monica! Is gonna microwave your ****!
Tabby! Is gonna steal all your stuff!
Aaron! Is gonna organize your sock drawer!
Elsa! Is gonna speak with an accent!
The Captain! HIS NAME IS THE CAPTAIN!

NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE
NEXTWAVE

kbfett · Post by **kbfett** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:06 am

I'll check it out this wednesday. Thanks for the tip!

rebelbuttkicker · Post by **rebelbuttkicker** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:32 pm

*Cough, cough*

Did it seriously have the words beeped out?

CJ564 · Post by **CJ564** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:55 pm

Uuuh yes...? Why would I say that if it didn't?

rebelbuttkicker · Post by **rebelbuttkicker** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:25 pm

I don't know, the randomness kind of caught me off guard.