I have seen a bunch of these over the years and I thought it might be fun to see how many we can list. George Carlin had a ton of these. So if you know any, post em up.
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the "Alphabet song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your @ss?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Things that make you go hmmm...
- TK-1161 Curt
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Things that make you go hmmm...
Curt Stanfill
TK-1161 / ID-1161 / DZ-1161
Gateway Squad
70th Explorers Garrison
TK-1161 / ID-1161 / DZ-1161
Gateway Squad
70th Explorers Garrison
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Re: Things that make you go hmmm...
Very good, I needed the laugh!
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Re: Things that make you go hmmm...
"If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?"
it's the principle of the matter. plus he gets creditted back to his account for everything that fails misserably, with the guarantee's and all. I immagine it's the same 40 bucks or so over and over.
it's the principle of the matter. plus he gets creditted back to his account for everything that fails misserably, with the guarantee's and all. I immagine it's the same 40 bucks or so over and over.
Steve Schaeperkoetter - Albin's Head Generalissimo
RL/JA: Drago Lordist - KJO, WHP, RLSC
501st: DZ/IC/SL/SL/IC 7221 - GWL
Road Squadron
- TK-1161 Curt
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Re: Things that make you go hmmm...
We do we call it a building when it's already built?
Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If something is out of whack, then there must be some things that are "in whack", right?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If something is out of whack, then there must be some things that are "in whack", right?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Curt Stanfill
TK-1161 / ID-1161 / DZ-1161
Gateway Squad
70th Explorers Garrison
TK-1161 / ID-1161 / DZ-1161
Gateway Squad
70th Explorers Garrison
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Re: Things that make you go hmmm...
TaxesTK-1161 Curt wrote:Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies..... I make them.
TB-6984
Garrison 66 Official Cookie Maker
Garrison 66~501st Legion
TB-6984
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Garrison 66~501st Legion
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Re: Things that make you go hmmm...
Starting to worry about the boss
Andy Bauer
TK-4484
70th Explorers
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Re: Things that make you go hmmm...
WOW my head hurts now!
If nothing sticks to teflon......then how does teflon stick to the pan?